Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
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