I wish I could punch you in the face.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
