Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Randomize
