she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
We have so much sex to catch up on
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
