wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I want to be your penis for a week.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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