I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Randomize
