For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
