I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
