need another drink. this is the easiest way
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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