there were more penises there than on chat roulette
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Randomize
