remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
