we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
