Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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