Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
