Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
