people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
