There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
