Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
