I want to stick my p in your. b.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
