Yo dont text me then not text me
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I'm too high and old for this...
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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