her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Randomize
