Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Randomize
