so explain again why im purple
no
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
