She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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