I think I died a long time ago.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
i drank out of a bidet.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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