I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
