I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize