I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
