I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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