One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Randomize
