Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Randomize