Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Randomize
