you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
