No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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