We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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