I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
