if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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