Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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