I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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