My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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