OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Randomize
