I can tuck mytits in my pants
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
