So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
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