I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize