I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
