I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
he shaved USA in his pubs
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
