once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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