Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
