I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
