I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
that is very illegal...i love you.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
