I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
