Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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