She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
