I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
