i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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