FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
