so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
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