you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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