escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
