Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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