whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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