He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
