WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
