I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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