apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
