Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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