In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Randomize
