spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
