I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I just gift wrapped bread.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
