spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
