no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Randomize
