Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
