Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Randomize
