Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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