I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize
