I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
